doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
