he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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