You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
