I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
