New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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