Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
