Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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