you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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