Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
