508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize