6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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