I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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