You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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