It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
