TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
