we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
are you so shy because you have an std?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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