was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
