Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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