We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize