please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
