Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
