dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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