ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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