My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
