Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
