who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry about my life...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
