He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's blow job season.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
