Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We had sex on a dog bed..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
