she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
