Im at strip club and am horny
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Sober January is a disaster.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
