My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
