Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
