That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
