I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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