eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
