And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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