stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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