he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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