this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
