At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
