Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize