Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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