I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize