It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I AM VODKA MAN
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
