Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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