I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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