Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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