how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
