I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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