I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
