We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
