Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
