Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
