Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
