you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize