butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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