Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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