i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
