I wannas sexs uuuuu
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
