Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
