watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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